Forgiveness is one of the hardest commands in the Christian life. Not because we do not understand the words. But because wounds are real. Some people carry deep pain: betrayal, harsh words, abandonment, broken trust, rejection, divorce, abuse, disappointment, or years of unresolved hurt. And when pain lingers, bitterness quietly begins to grow.
The Bible says bitterness is a root (Hebrews 12:15). Roots spread. What starts as pain can slowly shape our hearts, relationships, and perspective on life.
How do we forgive?
The answer begins with the gospel. In 1st Timothy 1:12–17, the apostle Paul reflects on the grace he received from Jesus Christ. Paul openly admits who he was before salvation: “I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent.” Paul was not cleaning up his testimony. He had violently opposed Christians and approved of their suffering. Yet he says, “I received mercy.”
Grace means receiving something wonderful we do not deserve.
Mercy means not receiving the judgment we do deserve.
Paul never got over the gospel. Decades after his conversion, he was still amazed that Jesus would save a sinner like him. And that is where forgiveness begins. Before you can truly extend grace, you must first experience the grace of Jesus yourself.
When we forget how much we have been forgiven, we become harsh, easily offended, and cold toward others. But when we remember the cross, our own sin, and Christ’s mercy toward us, grace begins to flow through us instead of stopping with us.
Jesus told a story in Matthew 18 about a servant forgiven an impossible debt. Yet after receiving mercy, that same servant refused to forgive someone who owed him far less. The point was clear: those who have been forgiven much should forgive much.
Forgiveness does not mean:
- Pretending the hurt never happened
- Excusing evil
- Forgetting the pain
- Instantly restoring trust
Forgiveness is a choice to release someone from the debt they incurred when they sinned against you. That is what Jesus did for us.
At the cross, Christ took our debt upon Himself. He lived the life we could not live, died the death we deserved, and rose again in victory so sinners could be forgiven freely by grace.
Because of that, Christians forgive differently. We do not forgive because people always deserve it. We forgive because Jesus forgave us. Sometimes the first step is honestly answering two questions:
1. Who hurt me?
2. What do I believe they owe me?
An apology? Peace? Trust? A childhood? A restored relationship? Future dreams? You cannot release a debt you refuse to acknowledge. But once you bring it honestly before God, you can pray:
“Father, because of the grace You showed me in Jesus, I choose to release this debt to You.”
Forgiveness is not weakness. It is an act of faith in the God who is both merciful and just.
If you have never personally experienced the grace of Jesus Christ, that is where everything begins. Salvation is received by grace through faith, not works. Turn to Christ. Trust in Him. Receive His mercy. Then take the same grace you received…and give it away.
Pastor Chris Williams
To learn more about Pastor Chris and his teachings, visit us online at fcfamily.org and be sure to subscribe to receive these weekly encouragements in your inbox.