We need to know the teaching of our good and gracious God in this area for our own good so we can help others flourish here.
Before we were sinful, we were sexual. Before sin entered the world, sex was in the garden. Sex is not part of the curse, it’s a good gift from a good God before the fall. Sex is a gift when enjoyed in the context of a covenant marriage between a man and a woman.
There’s so much shame associated with this topic. We feel guilt because we aren’t the husband or wife we want to be, or we have a habit we can’t break. Christ holds you; your salvation is all Him.
With the vows having been made, the marriage will now be consummated.
Here are 3 foundational truths about sex.
1. God gave us sex to create unity in the marriage
There are 3 reasons for sex in Scripture: to procreate, for fun, to unite.
The word beloved means a covenant partner, it communicates 2 people physically coming together that highlights the truth that they are in the permanent spiritual covenant together.
The enemy lies that sex is nothing more than a physical act. Sex has theology and unity, it’s so much more than physical. This is the exact opposite of what our world teaches.
Marriage unifies two people in the covenant of marriage. The gospel says that Jesus knows you, sees you, and still loves you. That’s the good news of the gospel and marriage is supposed to illustrate this.
2. God gave us sex as a means of romance
Solomon affirms and encourages his bride by telling her he likes what he sees.
The bride was self-conscious about her looks and Solomon paid attention by showing her value and affirming her. You cannot affirm your wife enough.
Solomon tells his bride in 4:4 that her neck is like a tower of David and that she is graceful. She’s been affirmed and it changes how she sees herself.
Our world spouts lies to women about what they should look like. Our culture sets impossible photoshopped standards. This is why pornography is so hurtful, it says one person isn’t enough.
In the chapter the wife takes initiative as well so there’s a reciprocal back and forth.
Culture says that sex is the ultimate thing but that’s not what the Bible teaches. The church has often gotten in the other ditch and said sex is bad, but it’s not. When used in the context of covenant marriage, sex is a gift to affirm, confirm, and bring unity.
3. God gave us sex to be satisfied
Why should we wait until marriage? God says so and that is for our good and flourishing. People don’t wait because they’re afraid they’ll miss out on something.
When it comes to this topic, you must bathe it in the gospel because it’s not about where you’ve fallen short, it’s about what Jesus has done. Sexual sin destroys us but the tomb is empty and Jesus lives! If the Holy Spirit can raise Jesus from the dead then He can bring life into that scar left from your regrets.
To learn more about Pastor Chris and his teaching, visit us on the web at fcfamily.org and make sure you subscribe to receive these weekly encouragements in your inbox.
