Satan’s primary means to disrupt humanity is to destroy the foundational relationship of healthy families and societies: marriages. Knowing this scheme, we will develop a gospel powered counterattack that will lead to marriages, families, and communities that flourish.
Your biggest joys in life are family, and your biggest regrets might be around family. When we look at scripture, there are not a lot of great examples of families that flourish. There is so much disfunction.
The Bible teaches marriage is a gift from God, it is defined by God and is the primary picture of the gospel. Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. It is the primary picture used to demonstrate your relationship with God. The gospel is to shine light and empower the Christian couple to operate according to God’s design.
The goal of marriage is to represent a oneness that highlights the gospel. Ephesians 5 is the most in-depth teaching on marriage in the Bible. It is also one of the most misunderstood and even misused passages in the Bible.
The culture looks at these passages as patriarchal, and primitive. Progressive Christianity says, “That was for then but not for now. It’s outdated.”
The problem with that is that the New Testament references creation in its teaching of how marriage is to work. You can go to Colossians, Corinthians, or Matthew, they all reference Genesis. Creation is the reference point for how God designed marriage to work. It is not about culture.
We do not want to fall into the ditch of legalism or liberalism. Legalism is putting a fence around a fence, so you never get near the first fence.
It is important to understand that the way these principles flesh out in our homes now might look different. We need to let the Bible speak for itself.
Ephesians Chapter 5 starts off with what is known as the family code. Ephesians 5:21 says, “submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.”
This is a key verse in any relationship, including marriage. This is one of the guiding principles over what we are going to talk about. Mutual submission that should be part of every Christian relationship.
The term “submit” comes from the Greek word hupotaso and it means “to respect, yield, defer, to put another’s good ahead of your own.”
This idea is all over the bible. It talks about how children submit to parents, followers submit to elders, citizens submit to governments, angels submit to God, over and over its talking about order. After calling all followers of Jesus to submit to one another, he tells us what this looks like in marriage.
Ephesians 5:22-24 says, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.”
These principles go against what is the norm in our culture. It is interesting that when Paul wrote Ephesians, the shocking part would have been his words to the husbands. History tells us that back in AD 60, the only thing a husband owed his wife was a house and children.
Jesus comes along, the gospel says, “No, you ought to love your wife, you are supposed to lay down your life for your wife.” This new idea of love and sacrifice that Paul is introducing to the culture would have blown people’s minds back then.
Submission is not a dirty word. Submission does not mean inferiority. Both husband and wife are image bearers.
1 Corinthians 15: 28 says, “When everything is subject to Christ, then the Son himself will also be subject to the one who subjected everything to him, so that God may be all in all.”
This shows that even though Jesus was God, equal with the Father, He still submitted to the Father’s will. Submission is not dominance or control.
Submission is not about a wife having to put up with the nonsense of a husband who blows up on her. Submission is not something that a man demands, it is a wife’s invitation for her husband to lead.
These verses are written to wives, they are hers to obey, not yours to demand. These principles can and do look different in every marriage.
Ephesians 5:23 says, “because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body.”
The Greek word for head means “leader”, it implies responsibility.
Truth for Wives
- You can’t change your husband but you can help or hinder what Jesus is doing in his life.
- Biblical masculinity is the joyful acceptance of sacrificial responsibility
- The core question a man is asking: Do I measure up?
- Every man’s love language is respect.
- Men lead, where they feel competent to lead.
Are you helping or hindering your husband?
Truth for Husbands
- Reject passivity and accept responsibility.
- Understand love looks like Jesus hanging on a cross
- Use your headship to serve her.
- Lead.
- Love
Answer her core question: Am I valuable?
Pastor Chris Williams
To learn more about Pastor Chris and his teaching, visit us on the web at fcfamily.org and make sure you subscribe to receive these weekly encouragements in your inbox.
