Marriage Reboot

Jesus is being followed by hundreds and hundreds of people. The religious leaders became nervous. They wanted to hurt his popularity. They approach Jesus and try to trap Him by asking a question about an emotionally charged subject, divorce.

Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?”  

In the Jewish culture, there were two schools of thought about divorce. Deuteronomy 24:1 says, “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens, if she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, that he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her away from his house.” The debate was about the meaning of “indecency.”

The conservative Rabbi Shammai, his school thought that indecency meant adultery. The liberal school of the day, led by Rabbi Hillel, taught that indecency means anything you want it to mean. The majority followed Rabbi Hillel’s teaching on adultery. They are asking Jesus to pick a side.

And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘for this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.”  

The religious experts are trying to hurt Jesus’ popularity. Jesus points them to the primary source, He quotes Genesis 1, 2. He is trying to show them that they are asking the wrong question. The question is what is God’s design for marriage? How do I stay married?

Jesus takes them to the Genesis narrative. God made Adam, but He fashions the woman from Adam. The word fashioned means “intricately woven, to build upon.”

God is the one who created marriage. It is not a social construct; it is a divine gift to man and woman. Genesis is the template for marriage for all time. It is the paradigm.

They said to Him, “Why, then, did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Every believer needs to be well discipled in the theology of marriage so let us look at 3 components of a marriage reboot:

Marriage is a covenant between a man and woman 
It is crucial to think about marriage as a covenant, not a contract. A covenant in the Scriptures is where two people understand that the relationship is greater than the immediate individual needs of the two people.

The problem is that we talk about marriage as something contractual, one can see it when couples live by the principle of “you give 50% and I will give 50%.”
God is involved in the marriage covenant. He is not involved in contracts.

Some of you believe that marriage is a covenant, but you think you missed the right person for you.

You must reject the “only one” myth of love
Some people say, “I missed my soulmate out there,” or “I am married, but they are not my soulmate.” The Scriptures present the picture of two distinct people, coming together as one, and becoming one flesh.

The idea that you need to find your other half, someone that completes you, comes from Greek mythology, Plato. This Greek myth has impacted our society by making them believe that you must spend your life searching for your other half, and when you meet them, it will be love at first sight, and it will mean marital bliss.

The truth is that you are marrying a broken, rebellious, stubborn sinner. All marriage does is expose stuff.

People say “Marriage is so hard. It should not be this hard.” However, nothing else in life is easy. Marriage will take work, and it is worth it! You always marry the wrong person, because the right person does not exist.

God did not make Eve to quench the thirst of Adam’s soul. A spouse is not a good substitute for Jesus. When two people start doing life together, there will be conflict. Look at the one God has placed you in covenant marriage with and reaffirm you are the one.

Covenant together that no matter what we will stay together
You cannot change your spouse. God can change people, He may even use you in your spouse’s heart transformation process; however, you cannot change them.

God’s Formula for a Reboot:

  • Confess your part of the brokenness in the relationship.
  • Cleanse, God will cleanse what you confess.
  • Change, now God has a pallet to use to make change in your family.

Pastor Chris Williams
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